The growing number of divorces leads to unprecedented family situations. It is now common for a child to be raised by a person who is not his or her parent.
There may be consequences for this, including the fact that the new companion does not particularly appreciate the presence of the children of another.
Understand the reason for this disaffection of the new companion
There can be many reasons that make the new companion does not appreciate the children of a previous relationship.
First, there may be some form of jealousy towards love for your children. The new companion may feel helpless or less appreciated than children. It is always difficult to find the right balance to both bring affection to one and not neglect the other.
It is likely that there are also difficulties because this situation may tend to remind the new spouse the emotional past of his companion. Therefore the love that his partner may have felt for someone other than him. It is systematically a sensitive subject.
It is also necessary to understand the reason of the problem, and sometimes it is necessary to reverse the responsibilities. Our little darlings are not angels and it is likely that their behavior with the new partner is not free of blame. You have to do a real job with your children and explain to them that they do not have a new dad.
To live with the children of anotheris also setting rules. It is always difficult to be respected without having legitimacy. This will therefore have an impact on the position to be taken when making use of his authority. The new spouse may feel overwhelmed by the events and not know what position to adopt (be too harsh or too lax) and at the same time completely abandon the children to not make mistakes.
How to change the game
For the situation to evolve, we must of course dialogue with his partner but also with his children. Especially with these, we must explain the reason for the new relationship and act with pedagogy.
We must find common interests between the children and the new companion. The latter should not see them as enemies but truly as friends. It must be explained that the more children will be attached to him the more you will be reassured and will have consideration for him. It can be football, gymnastics, cycling, cinema, museum ...
It is important that the time spent together is enjoyable. For example, vacation time is conducive to reconciliation and group activities.
In the event that there are teams to train, put your new partner and your children together to reinforce their complicity. If you put them against each other it will only strengthen their rivalry. So you too have things to do for relationships to improve.
Your advisor in love