My spouse does not know if he wants to continue his life with me. He is at the dawn of his forties and for about a year he has been undecided about the issue of children. It was something important for him when we started (we've been together for four years). He was sure of his choice from the start. Recently he told me he did not know what he wanted.
I spent the last year trying to figure out what was happening to him, but never really did, because he's not really able to give me real reasons. I had all kinds of excuses this year. I understand that it is never easy to have to announce this kind of thing to your spouse, but what makes me unhappy is that I feel that I have been betrayed. I do violence to not think that I lost my time!
I trusted him when he told me to wait and it was going to happen in due time. But this time is precious for me because I'm thirty-six years old, my biological clock sounds big Bong! I am with the man I love and I do not have enough time to have a child. I know very well that it is possible to have children in their forties, but I do not want to wait for years, without knowing if I will be fertile at that time.
My spouse decided to go to see the cause of the problem. And although I'm happy that he is there, I feel a bitter taste, because it was still necessary that I serve as a locomotive for a year before he decides to take charge. I am tired, it exhausted me and I am afraid of having to serve again as a locomotive in the future. I know I should not think so but it's stronger than me. I come to wonder if I should consider my future with or without him, no matter what decision he makes in relation to me.