Not bad enough for leave, not good enough to stay. When the love relationship flies, the dilemma often arises in these terms. The risk: resign yourself too quickly or leave too early. Hence the interest of taking time to ask the right questions.
Flavia Mazelin Salvi
Evaluating the quality of one's romantic relationship is anything but easy. Exercise requires both the ability to posit an objective, hard-to-see look when one is emotionally involved, and the ability to identify what makes the strength and weakness of the connection.
8 questions to take stock of your relationship
The American researcher Robert Weiss, a specialist in addictions and sexuality, has come up with a series of questions that allow us to see more clearly in an intimate relationship. This questionnaire aims to invite everyone to take stock before making a decision, but especially to agree a time of reflection and analysis before opening the dialogue to his partner. For the psychologist Martine Teillac, "we always deposit our inner being within the couple, and as such we are always responsible for what it becomes.The couple we form are like us, they are our reflection. the "fault" of the other, which is why it is necessary to change the way we look at him instead of waiting for him to give us everything. "
Take the time to read the questions below, think about it, write down your answers. At the end of the questionnaire, the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship will become clearer to you. Then everyone has to choose whether the adventure deserves to be continued with two or if it is better to take another path, alone.
1- Do you like spending time together?
Aside from the case of arranged marriages, or reason, the cement of the couple is the pleasure of being together. To share time, emotions, sensations, ideas (agreements or disagreements), discoveries. When this pleasure dulls or disappears, the intimacy of the couple suffers.
What did you like to do together? Why is this no longer the case? What have you tried to revive the momentum? What are the main obstacles encountered?
2- Do you trust him?
Trust is the key element of intimacy. It is not a block (only the child has full trust in his parent), but a base on which the relationship is built. However, this confidence can sometimes falter, be altered. One can be disappointed by the other, hurt by his behavior, but in the end, we know that we can trust him. Or not.
Do you feel understood? Born in difficult times? Do you know how to forgive? Are you benevolent with each other?Do you entrust your needs, your fears, your doubts?
3- Do you share the same values?
Moral, cultural, religious and political values determine the way in which the world is apprehended, but also the way we behave and make choices. If the value code of the partners is radically opposed, it is a safe bet that misunderstandings and conflicts will be frequent. It is not a question of agreeing on everything but of having the feeling of sharing globally the same vision of things.
What are your basic beliefs (moral, religious, political)? Do you often argue about raising children? On political or moral issues? Do you feel that you are enriching each other's differences or do you feel that these differences are opposing you and creating a gap between you?