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How to speak in public?

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How to speak in public?

I'm 33 years old and it's a nightmare every time I have to expose myself. If I have to develop an idea orally, I'm sweaty, on the verge of fainting and I'm shaking. I put hours to recover. I would like you to tell me a way forward. Loïc, Lorient

Claude Halmos

Psychoanalyst

answers

I was struck, Loïc, by the way you start your letter. You say: "I am going to submit a little concern which is for me a real problem, not to say a despair." This sentence is strange. Why call "little worry" something that is for you a desperation? Why minimize things? As if you could feel the problem in its true dimensions but had the right to communicate it to the other by trivializing it to the extreme.

The question seems important to me because your problem is, you say, not being able to appear in public without extreme suffering. But to appear in public is precisely to face the other and to affirm what we are (or what we know).

"The other" in question is, of course, the real "other" (teacher, colleague, etc.). But it is especially the one that one has - unconsciously - in the head. That is to say the image of the other (welcoming, benevolent or, on the contrary, contemptuous and rejecting) that one has built according to its history.

What happened to you at this level? How, child and teenager, have you been welcomed and treated? Did you have a real place? Did you take yourself seriously? Did you value your person and your statements? Or have you been, on the contrary, mistreated, ridiculed, rejected? The "way forward" that you ask me is to find that past to leave it ... in its place of the past and stop sticking indefinitely to the present.

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