How to help a child who feels guilty?
How to help a child who feels guilty about having a pregnancy and a difficult life for his mother?
Former pupil of Lacan, Jean-Pierre Winter , psychoanalyst, is the current president of the Freudian Movement. According to him, guilt is a central problem for psychoanalysis. "Many people who come to consult, he says, complain of guilt of which they do not understand the reason."
It is impossible to answer to the question of whether a fetus can let itself settle in him, a strong guilt that would pass through the memory of the body and emotions. On the other hand, without a word or language, the baby can feel the distress of his mother and feel responsible for it. Especially when he reconstructs his existence from the only reference to maternal distress.
What is missing to the one who feels guilty of the maternal experience, it is a third which disempowers it. There is nothing inevitable. To live guilt almost coldly is what is possible with conscious guilt. But there is also an unconscious guilt, and that one, it is difficult to control, because it is inaccessible by intuition alone. The third person who is guilty of guilt is the one who can say to the little child: "your mother had a mother and a father, she has a husband, a fantasy life of her own, and her sufferings have nothing to do with you. . Perhaps you feel guilty not to love her suffering, but look at her, she is not only suffering, she is there too with her joy and her desire to have you into the world ".
- "Can one bring the guilt of one's mother? "
- " Why do you feel so guilty when you lose someone you love? "